Walk the Line

>> Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Tomorrow I have my employee interrogation interest session. I received the list of questions on Monday and have been procrastinating on filling it out ever since. I look at it. Look at my sister's recommendations, look back at the form... no clear thoughts. Well, I actually I do have some clear thoughts on what I'd really like to say.

1. How do I feel about the future direction of the organization? Is this an organization I want to be a part of?
Hmmm, how many people do I know that were ecstatic to be on the Hindenburg's last voyage? Hmmm... tough question. I love how the generic 'organization' is used. Not company or department which would make answering this question easier but the vague and undefined 'organization.' Good thing this isn't a Rorschach test. Oh wait, it is!
2. What roles/jobs would I like to perform?
Dartboard messenger? Does it not exist? As if anyone in my department knows what jobs are going to be available after The Revolution happening around here. How about traveling gypsy? No? How about Mel Gibson's part in Braveheart at the moment he yells, "Freedom!"
3. How can I contribute to these jobs/roles? What skills do I offer?
I want to know if I'm going to get paid properly for my skills. I don't volunteer here. One of my coworkers left a year ago. I took on much of her work. Was my position re-evaluated properly after assuming her duties, which were different from my previous duties? No. One of my other coworkers says to it as "criminal" for me to be kept at that level. Yet, here I am plodding along dutifully through my work.
4. What constraints do I have that should be considered in my future placement? (Professional, personal, geographic, timing, etc.)
If this question isn't geared to finding out who wants to retire early, then I don't know what is.
5. As the Company works through these decisions, what questions or advice do I have? Other things I' like you to consider?
Well, if the Company's stock is going to plummet in the next six months, I'd like to know. Just makes the 401(k) easier to manage.

Most people in this position want to stay. I want to leave, preferably by mid-July. I'm not anywhere near retirement age, so no one is going to look at me as the win-win situation of early retirement. That's what these employee interrogation interest sessions are all about. Looking for win-win situations for both the company and employees. I talked to someone on the phone last night who was all about telling me to toot my own horn in this and expunge on this, that and the other thing, which misses the point. This is not a job interview! I need to get laid off so that I can 1) move (under more auspicious circumstances than having to voluntarily resign) and 2) be eligible for Cobra insurance. Thus, I have to walk a verbal tightrope of being positive, enthusiastic and capable yet possibly better off doing something else. (Hint! Hint!) If only fortuitous subtext could be conjured on a whim...

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